Thanks!

First of all, thanks for all of the kind words about me and my bikini. You all sure know how to pick a girl up when she's feeling down. I heart my fellow bloggers. Sincerely.

Next, a note to let you know I survived. Monday and Tuesday night were the most emotionally draining 12-hour shifts I have had in a long time. I never call back to the hospital to check on a patient...I am very good at leaving my job at the door when I leave. But I couldn't help it. There was a family meeting scheduled for yesterday afternoon, in which I thought the doctors would support my patient in her decision to stop treatment. One very important doctor did not come to the meeting, the patient wavered in her decision for one minute, the family jumped on that and said she is not competent to make any decisions, and now the torture continues. For the patient, and for the nurses whose hearts are breaking while they are stuck in the middle of this horrible ethical nightmare. As soon as the family leaves (around 10pm), this 90-pound skeleton of a woman starts begging for you to turn everything off and let her die. She is in terrible pain, her bones are practically protruding through her skin, and the only thing keeping her alive is continuous hemodialysis and medicines that support her falling blood pressure. She is infected in her bloodstream and her gut with drug-resistant bacteria. She doesn't want to eat. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. I do not understand this family's perspective. This poor woman has been sick for nine years! She is physically, spiritually, and emotionally broken. She has made her peace and is ready to die. And they are so selfish, they won't let her go. I know how hard it is to say goodbye. I was the one who made the decision (with my family) to take my dad off of life support and let him die peacefully, instead of in the presence of doctors and nurses beating on his chest, shoving more tubes in his body, shocking his heart, all to stall the inevitable. Not a single one of us makes it out of this life, well, alive. Sometimes the prayer for healing is answered by the ultimate healing: release from this painful life into a much more glorious one. I sit here with tears running down my face for this woman who is going to suffer so much in the days to come, all because of the unbelieving family she is being forced to succumb to. Doctors are so afraid of lawsuits these days, they have a hard time standing up to a family like this. The husband is already threatening to hire a lawyer (for what, I don't know). And the poor nurses are having to deal with this family, take care of this critically ill patient, and try to hide the emotions they are feeling. Let me tell you, it sucks. But for me, it is over for the next eight days. I am not going to call work again. I don't go back until the 28th. And I hope it is over for her by then. I don't know if I can take anymore of that heartbreak.

Now, I am going to drink my coffee, read some blogs, hope Lula has something hilarious to say to cheer me up, and then I am going to have a great day with my babies on this last day of summer vacation. I have prayed for peace, and I am going to let God have His way with me today.

Thank you so much for your prayers, your kind words, and your ability to make me smile. You have absolutely no idea how very much they mean to me. It is so odd to think that women you have never met can have such an impact on your life. But it's so true. I truly believe God has had His hand on this for awhile, knowing we all needed extra support and laughter and love. As Bruce in Bruce Almighty says, "It's goooood".