The Real World

When I decided to go to nursing school (at the ripe old age of 18), I had a vague idea of what a nurse does. Taking temperatures, listening to people's lungs and hearts, placing a cool cloth on their brow when they had a fever, giving medications...that was about all I could envision. I had never been a patient in a hospital before, and the only experience I had was visiting my grandparents (scary) and seeing my little baby niece in Children's when I was 14 (equally scary). I knew that I wanted to "help people", and I also knew that as a nurse, I could pick my schedule and make good money working part time, making it easier to raise my family (yes, I had these thoughts as an 18-year-old girl...crazy, I know).

To make a long story, well, longer, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The first year that I was out on my own as a critical care nurse, I almost decided to quit and go back to college to get my teaching degree. What do you mean, I have to clean up that river of poop flowing from my patient's bed? What do you mean, I have to watch as my 37-year-old patient dies from an untreatable cancer, leaving behind his wife and three babies, four days before Christmas? And then be the one to comfort them, when I can barely hold myself together? I'm not sure what made me stay (probably the thought of more student loans, actually), but I am so glad that I did. Now, fourteen years later, I feel that I have "come into my own" as a nurse. I am competent, caring, compassionate (most of the time) and I truly love my job. Most of the time. But I have to say, I much prefer to work during the night. Sounds crazy, I know. All it takes to cement this idea in my head, though, is to work an occasional day shift, like I did yesterday.

Day shift is an entirely different ballgame in the world of nursing. For starters, I had to wake up to an alarm clock yesterday! My children are my personal alarm clock, so I am not used to that annoying sound. I have the usual routine of getting up, drinking my coffee while I browse my blogs and check my emails, then start the rest of the day. Yesterday, I had to race to work, not even having time to drink more than two sips of coffee before the world went crazy.

In my ICU, we never have more than two patients to care for at one time. If you have a really sick patient, then they are a "1 to 1", meaning one nurse for that one patient. Yesterday, I had a really sick patient, but we were short-staffed, so I still had to care for my other patient, as well. I had plenty of help, but I still felt extremely stressed that my little guy wasn't getting the care he deserved. But I had a 33-year old woman who was suffering from a UTI that got into her blood stream, putting her into septic shock, which means she is dangerously close to dying if we don't bust our butts to do the things needed to save her. In a twelve hour shift, I sat down for maybe a total of 25 minutes. Ate lunch in 5 minutes. Only peed once. And had to deal with a derogatory doctor who doesn't think women are capable of anything. So frustrating. Despite all that, I felt good at the end of my shift. Because I knew what to do and how to do it, without much help from the doctors. And my patient was doing much better when I left. Thanks to all the great teamwork from the other nurses that I worked with, and the hard work of the residents (doctors in training), and not so much from the jerk-off attending physician in charge.

So even though I had NO idea what I was getting into, and though some shifts just totally kick your butt, I have to say that I truly love being a nurse. I am doing what God called me to do. And making money doing it. And getting to stay home five days a week in between my two nights of working. No, I don't get much sleep, but as I always say, I can sleep when I'm dead :)

I have read a few comments from people who are thinking about becoming nurses. All I can say to them is, do it. It is hard work, going to nursing school and learning the ropes as a new grad. But it so worth it, once you find your niche. There are so many things you can do as a nurse, it is mind-boggling.

Now, I might have a different viewpoint on Monday morning, after I have worked my 60th hour this week. Joe returns to work next week, so I had to get all of my extra hours in this week, to help pay for school supplies. I will be exhausted, but then I only have to work one shift next week, so I will have a chance to recover. I have great plans for next week (can't wait 'til Thursday night, Catherine and Becky and Michelle and Kay!). That's enough to get me through!