"Love is patient, love is kind."
We hear the words spoken at weddings, we read the words in the Bible. Do we live the words in our marriage?
I wish I could say I do. I used to consider myself a "patient" person, but that was before I got married and had kids. It's much easier to be patient and kind in theory than in reality.
The first day of "The Love Dare" (a forty day journey) emphasized just this.
"Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attibutes...Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. Patience brings in internal calm during an external storm.
The dare: For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."
I started The Love Dare back in February. I wasn't sure I could do it after reading this first dare. Like I said, I am not the most patient person. But the magic word for me was "choose". I may not BE patient naturally, but I can CHOOSE to be patient anytime I want. I like having a choice.
And let's face it: it's not a hard choice to love this guy.
Not only is he great fun to be with on date nights, he is a great dad, too.
And he's pretty easy on the eye, as well...
Joe and I are working on our thirteenth year of marriage, and like any marriage, it has been a time of ups and downs. As the kids have gotten older (and we've gotten more sleep), it is much easier to be a team. We have finally given up the competition of who does more, who works harder, who gets more sleep, who is the better spouse/parent. We spend more time having conversations than arguments. And we laugh a lot more.
I strongly recommend this book to anyone who wants to have a better marriage. It has changed my attitude toward Joe and our relationship, and has made me more grateful for the husband that God blessed me with. Can't complain with those results!
7 comments:
Okay, so I saw the movie. Heck, I own the movie.
Back in January, K-Love (my fave radio station) started announcing Love Dare Challenges every morning. I keep saying I'm going to get the book and give it a whirl. 'Cuz it's 18 years for me and some days - well, let's just say some days it's a colorful marriage. Sure, make me think on a Wednesday! grrrrrrrrrr : )
Our 13th anniversary is tomorrow. I think this should be my gift to him.
Oh wow... I promise you, in my prayer journal yesterday, I wrote over & over again for God to help me with my patience. Lately, its been running thin in EVERY relationship I have... so this is good for me today - Thank you!!!
I have the Love Dare & never opened it - you have me wanting to pull it out now!
LOVE that picture of hubs laughing... that's awesome!
Patience, or the lack thereof, is one of my great challenges. I am working to be better though. I resolve to hold my tongue. To think about it for just a moment before I blurt out something potentially mean-spirited or hurtful. I should probably have Neil read this book, too. :)
I've been wanting to do this - did you see "Fireproof"? The acting is really not the best but once you get past that, it has a wonderful message.
Great reminder and how wonderful you have had 13 years together!!!
Natalie at Mommy on Fire
http://www.mommyonfire.com
The picture of the two of you together is awesome!
Ever since I became a mom, I regret that I've spent less time and energy nurturing my marriage. We're solid and all, but I find myself tempted to "keep score" and get caught up in, to borrow your words, "the competition of who does more, who works harder, who gets more sleep, who is the better spouse/parent."
Sounds like this book would be good for my family. I'm going to check it out.
Aww, Heather, I love this post! Thanks for reminding me I need to take more time, and nurture my marriage a little more.
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