As many of you have probably gathered from reading even just a couple of posts from my "flog", my third child is definitely my most challenging child. Poor Elijah and Isabel take a backseat sometimes to the chaos that is Gabriel; thank God they have the personalities they do, being understanding and very mature about it all when Gabe requires all of my attention. I have very good intentions about spending more one-on-one time with each of them, and now that I am decreasing my hours at work, I am determined to do just that. But until the end of October, I have to learn how to stretch myself even thinner than I usually do, to try to help this baby of mine learn how to function in society.
We are struggling with preschool. Every day is a new and different issue. The first two days, he was so excited to go that he refused to leave when I came to get him. To the point of running away from his teacher and screaming, "I'm not gonna go!!!". Well, Mr. Gabe and I had a "discussion" about that, and he promised not to behave that way again when it was time to return to school on Monday.
Monday comes. We go to school, excited and still wearing his Elmo backpack, determined to be a good listener and be ready to leave with Mommy at the end of the day. When I return to pick him up, he's not one of the kids playing on the playset. Because he's on the bench, sitting with his teacher. In trouble. Apparently, when it was time to clean up before going outside, Gabe decided to dump a whole bin of toys on the floor and defiantly refused to pick them up. So he lost his recess privileges. And when he saw me, he fell apart, crying that his teacher was mad at him, sobbing hysterically. Gabe is nothing if not dramatic, if you haven't noticed. His teacher was NOT mad, and she was so sad to see him being so sad, and it was just a bad scene. On the way home, we had another talk about appropriate school behavior, and how this wasn't it. He promised to be a good boy tomorrow (which kinda broke my heart...he is a good boy...just, well, sometimes not very easy to deal with).
Today I take him to school. He's been up since 6:30am at the sitter's house, since I worked last night and needed to sleep. He fell down the stairs while playing there, she told me. He's fine, but had a rough morning. When we walk in, instead of running into his class, he hangs back in the hall, hesitant to look at Mrs. Edwards. She welcomes him to the class with a singsongy voice, and he eventually goes in. No tears, just this...hesitation. That alone was enough to make me cry. I want preschool to be a good experience for him, like it was for Elijah and Isabel. Gabe needs to learn that there are rules in every part of our lives, and sometimes you just have to follow them, even when you'd rather just dump a bunch of toys on the floor and play. Mrs. Edwards is so consoling to me, telling me "we'll get the hang of it, mom, don't worry". I just hate being the mom with "that" kid. I've never been in these shoes before, and I don't like the way they fit. I am praying so hard for God to make me be the mom that Gabe needs, 'cause I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it right now. If you're the praying kind, please lift me up today, 'cause I am struggling here.
God has given me these sweet kids to love, adore, raise and teach; I feel like I'm failing in the raising and teaching categories. Gabe is so full of love and energy and emotion, and I don't want to destroy that in my efforts to get him to just behave.
Oh, I hope today is a better day when I go to pick him this afternoon. Please let it be...
We are struggling with preschool. Every day is a new and different issue. The first two days, he was so excited to go that he refused to leave when I came to get him. To the point of running away from his teacher and screaming, "I'm not gonna go!!!". Well, Mr. Gabe and I had a "discussion" about that, and he promised not to behave that way again when it was time to return to school on Monday.
Monday comes. We go to school, excited and still wearing his Elmo backpack, determined to be a good listener and be ready to leave with Mommy at the end of the day. When I return to pick him up, he's not one of the kids playing on the playset. Because he's on the bench, sitting with his teacher. In trouble. Apparently, when it was time to clean up before going outside, Gabe decided to dump a whole bin of toys on the floor and defiantly refused to pick them up. So he lost his recess privileges. And when he saw me, he fell apart, crying that his teacher was mad at him, sobbing hysterically. Gabe is nothing if not dramatic, if you haven't noticed. His teacher was NOT mad, and she was so sad to see him being so sad, and it was just a bad scene. On the way home, we had another talk about appropriate school behavior, and how this wasn't it. He promised to be a good boy tomorrow (which kinda broke my heart...he is a good boy...just, well, sometimes not very easy to deal with).
Today I take him to school. He's been up since 6:30am at the sitter's house, since I worked last night and needed to sleep. He fell down the stairs while playing there, she told me. He's fine, but had a rough morning. When we walk in, instead of running into his class, he hangs back in the hall, hesitant to look at Mrs. Edwards. She welcomes him to the class with a singsongy voice, and he eventually goes in. No tears, just this...hesitation. That alone was enough to make me cry. I want preschool to be a good experience for him, like it was for Elijah and Isabel. Gabe needs to learn that there are rules in every part of our lives, and sometimes you just have to follow them, even when you'd rather just dump a bunch of toys on the floor and play. Mrs. Edwards is so consoling to me, telling me "we'll get the hang of it, mom, don't worry". I just hate being the mom with "that" kid. I've never been in these shoes before, and I don't like the way they fit. I am praying so hard for God to make me be the mom that Gabe needs, 'cause I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it right now. If you're the praying kind, please lift me up today, 'cause I am struggling here.
God has given me these sweet kids to love, adore, raise and teach; I feel like I'm failing in the raising and teaching categories. Gabe is so full of love and energy and emotion, and I don't want to destroy that in my efforts to get him to just behave.
Oh, I hope today is a better day when I go to pick him this afternoon. Please let it be...
17 comments:
Oh sweetie... so been there, done that. Kids and preschool are a tough mix - learning how to really get along with others and usually some firmer rules than they had before.
Essie cried EVERY DAY for 2 years when i dropped her off at preschool....
Oh sweetheart, I know just how you feel. I have been there and done that (just like hot tub lizzy said) but just hang in there and keep on truckin because you are one of the best mom's around and I am not saying that just because you are my daughter. You know my back ground with your sister so you know that I am right. You and your other sisters are such good people and good moms and I love you all so much. Hang in there! Love, Mom
He will get the hang of it, just be glad he wants to go and not be like Morgan for five years and hang on your leg. He is the baby of the family so it's a little harder for him but he will be fine soon you are doing fine. You are just a little behind on your tears.
Oh, I hope it was a better day, too. And, while I'm quite certain that you are NOT failing in the raising and teaching department, take comfort in knowing that we ALL have days, weeks, months...when we feel as if we are THE. WORST. MOTHER. IN. THE. WORLD.
You are doing a great job. I can tell.
Do not stress and do not feel that you have one of those kids. I know I have 2 of those kids and have had many, many, many talks with teachers about what we are going to do with them. Thank goodness I have had teachers that first love and then try to find ways to help my kids get it. Sis is in 5th grade and doing so much better then the first years. My son is in first grade and has been losing quite a few recesses because he is challenging the system. But his teacher loves him and lets me know so we can try again tomorrow. So hang in there, it sounds like you have a great teacher for preschool. Never think that it is you, I just think that the Lord gives us the challenges that we need to help us grow and in the end we are better mothers.
I am praying for you as well as me as we struggle through this hourney of motherhood!!!
First of all, this is a beautiful blog.
Second, that photo on this post is just completely perfect. I love it.
When I was reading this I just really felt led to tell you what a wonderful Mom you are. The Lord picked you specifically to be Gabe's mom (and your other children, too, of course) - He knew you would be the perfect fit. Hang in there!! I wish I had some great advice for you. My baby is only 15 months and I know I have so much to learn!
Blessings,
~melody~
How did I do it? WEll, she mostly was acting. She would bawl and cry, and by the time I was outside, she was fine. Just making sure mommy felt guilty. I think it's really important to just take him in, say goodbye, and head out. If he cries, let the teachers deal with it. That way he starts to understand that the fussing isn't going to do anything.
Just my .02.
My last baby is the same way -- he is only 2.My baby girl cried until the end of first grade and then after that I started homeschooling them. It has been the best thing I have ever done for my kids. I notice such a big change in them. Much Love!
Being a mom with younger kids than yours, I don't have any words of wisdom but I can as you asked say a prayer. I hope all went well today.
Every family has their "Gade." Our's is named Tarah. Boy did that girl put us on our knees so often! She's 24 now and getting married to a nice young Christian man. Hang in there Mommy! Pray and just let Gade know that his Mommy and Daddy love him very much - not matter what.
Thank you for your kind remark on my blog. I'm glad to be the one to break the gender barrier.
Well Heather, how was it? We need an update.
I love 3 year old children because most of them are so developmentally ready to LEARN how to be social beings at that age! The key word to remember is "LEARN". It is a process and will take time, just keep open communication with the teacher and continue to be the encouranging mother you seem to be. My youngest - Travis - was my challenge and it seemed his storm years lasted into his preteen years. Then all of a sudden I realized he had reached a calmness in his life and his previous struggles had disappeared. Gabe will adjust - just hang in there!
Hi again, Heather - just read your comment, that is so kind of you! Sure, you put my blog on your blogroll! Thank you! I'm blushing. :)
I am so far behind on getting my blogroll set up. One of these fine days I'll get to it. I'll add you for sure!
Hope you're having a very good day today!
~melody~
I love the picture too...what a great shot :o)
I too would like to say hang in there..."the strong willed children" are such a handful...that is for sure, but they are the ones who turn out to be such great leaders.
keep directing him in heavenly things with heavenly reasons and he will learn!
~simply~
Why did Blogger eat my comment? That's very rude...
So...
You know I was feeling this exact same way last week. You are an awesome mother. I realize you know this but sometimes it's nice to have a rah-rah section, cheering from the sidelines!
And it's also nice to have long conversations, about everything and nothing...and vampires.
We homeschool, so I can't share the "been there done that" with preschool. But I can share the "I feel like I'm failing in the raising and teaching categories".
I think all of us moms feel like we're failing at some point. Fortunately we serve a Big God who can make up for all our inadequacies.
PJ
manychildrenmanyhugs
My aunt and uncle had a similar "problem" with BOTH of their boys. In the end it ended up being that the boys were sort of "testing" everybody to what they could "get away with."
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