Questions

Family drama.

Nearly everyone has it at one point or another.

My family's drama has almost always centered around one of my older sisters.  I don't have any pictures of her, because she doesn't come to family events and hasn't for years.

She has had abortions, given up a baby for adoption, relinquished custody of three of her kids, then proceeded to have two more babies (whom I have never seen).  She lives off of the government, never taking any responsibility for herself or her actions.  She does drugs, gets clean, then gets back on drugs.  She has put her children in unmentionable circumstances, and she breaks my mom's heart on a daily basis.

Yet, she is my sister.

I am the baby of four girls.  My other two sisters and I are very close, getting together for holidays and scrapbooking and days at Kings Island.  Getting hooked on Twilight and swooning over Edward and Jacob together.  Loving each other's kids and just loving each other.

I am sad that our other sister misses out on this love.  She has driven all of us away, and everytime we even begin to consider to letting her back in, she does something horrible.  We don't want drugs around our kids, we don't want any more drama in our lives, and we don't want to be doormats to her needs.  She only knows how to take, take, take; never how to give.  It's a crying shame, but I have no idea what to do about it other than to pray.  For her, for her children, for our mom.

I have to admit, though, that I find it easier to pray for the injured, lost and dying in Japan right now than for my sister.  All of the hurt, the anger, and other ugly feelings rear up their heads everytime I get down on my knees.  I wish I had the heart of Jesus, to take her in my arms and forgive her and let her back in.

But I don't.

I only hope I can be forgiven for that when I make it to the other side.