It's a tough decision to make.
As a young teenager deciding on a college and a career path, girls don't often look down the road at how well their chosen job will coincide with a family life. Once that stick turns pink and a baby is in the picture, however, thoughts of staying-at-home vs working-and-child-care quickly come to the surface.
Fortunately, I had older sisters and great mentors who encouraged me to think of these issues when deciding on a career. Being a mom was the most important thing to me, even at the age of eighteen. My babies were only a figment of my imagination at the time, but finding a job that would be flexible with good pay while allowing me to be a mom the majority of the time was my goal. I knew a few nurses who raved about how well their jobs fit that bill, so I signed up for nursing school. It was the best thing I've ever done. Not only do I love my job (most of the time), but I love that I only have to work two nights a week, leaving me five nights to be what I most wanted to be: a good mom.
Now that Elijah and Isabel are older, I am no longer called to volunteer as often as I used to be...but I still have Gabe, and I am having a great time volunteering in his class and for various school events. It's so much fun to see him with his many (girl) friends:
Getting to go to events like Vehicle Day, where different careers are displayed along with their various vehicles (police, Army, truck drivers, farmers, hot air balloonists, and more!)...this is what I love about the choice I made for my own career over 20 years ago.
Do you have a career that meshes well with motherhood? If not, what is your dream job? And would you ever want to be a lunchlady for a room full of 1st and 2nd graders?!
6 comments:
When I was in college, motherhood wasn't something in my plan, so career choices weren't calculated with the thought of how it would be affected by children. And when I finally found a career, it was most definitely not conducive to children. It took enormous amounts of time, focus and energy, something I just couldn't give once I had a child. I struggled with the decision to stay home with my daughter but I haven't regretted it.
I will definitely advise my daughter, to think about the work/life balance when she is choosing a potential career. Maybe I'll point her towards nursing school!
I love that your sisters helped you in deciding 'down the road' decisions before a baby was even in the picture... that's so special :)
I am a stay at home mom. Some days, I wish I weren't. I hope that doesn't make me a "bad" mom.
I went back to work after the birth of my two oldest. Didn't have a choice. We needed the income. My mother graciously kept my babies so they didn't go to daycare.
After the birth of my third, I had to stay home. No other choice. I was working to pay for daycare. There are days when I feel trapped. Days when I feel like I've lost my identity completely. Days when I am so jealous of career moms who have their act together (or so it seems).
Then there are the days when my kids come home from school and the smiles on their faces at seeing me there for them makes all the other days null and void.
And I would be a lunchlady because they ROCK!!!! All that work to feed all those babies, even when they don't appreciate it.
My chosen career of teaching should be conducive to balancing with motherhood, but I'm not sure it is for me, at least not now when my kids are so little/needy and my hubby works a lot (often out of town). The hours are decent, but it's the grading and planning at home that I don't think I could face. Like Shelly, I do find myself envying women who seem to be able to balance career and home. I know I do plenty for the good of our household, but it would feel empowering to also contribute financially. If I could find a way to teach a couple of days a week with no work at home and a salary that did more than pay for child care ... I'd be all over that opportunity.
Hopped over from a recommendation from MEP at Not to Brag. I also have three kids and still work 4 days a week out of the house. I'm lucky that it's extremely flexible and I rarely bring work home. It provides me enough away-time and definitely helps financially. It's a tough decision though and one I question often. I really enjoyed this post!
Feels good to know that I'm not the only one who doesn't want to be on the fast track to career land. Looking forward to the day when I don't feel guilty for putting on my scrubs.
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